To define what is gender-based violence, first we have to understand
what the violence is.
In this point we say that the violence is the behavior or omision of it
proposed to harm or wound the other
person violating so the rights of the
other individual. In other words, it is an intentional behavior .
What is Gender-based Violence?
World Health Organization (who) and Pan-American Health Organization (PAHO) define
it as “all act of physical or verbal power, coertion or threatening privation for the life,
addressed to woman or girl, that causes
physical or psychological hazard , humiliation, or arbitrarian privation of
freedom, and that enlarges female subordination as well as it produces in
public or private life.”
Many times, GBV is inserted in daily life of women , generating effect
of systematic victimization in female gender, and hat does not discriminate
among girls, teenagers, young, adult and elder women, causing the violence goes
unseen, originating a kind of ghost
violence, adding to non-identification of itself.
Here is necessary to learn the difference between GBV and other types of
interpersonal or social violence, recognizing GBV’s objective is women
submission before dominion of who has power and so the control. Generally, it is inflicted by
lover and/or relative , and inside home. The woman is the target of submission, I mean.
Despite in violence without gender origin, the victim can be whoever,
even a male, the agressor can be a strange r or ocassional friend, and space
where it is made can be wherever.
Is GBV a human rights violation?
Because it is base don unequity to women in the practice and
distribution of power in society, it is proven that GBV violates human rights,
and it is almost linked to violence against under legal age people.
In a more panoramic view, we can appreciate that in domestic environment
, when women’s human rights are violated, also her children’s human rights are
violated, so their right to live and grow up
in violenc-free environments is nullified. This way, children turn
victims and witnesses of gender terror and degradation, when living with an
adult with a wrong feeling or conviction of his wife’ & family members
(children)’ belonging or control .
Is sexual violence a type of GBV?
Yes, it is. And it makes evident because female body is perceived,
conquered and dominated as territory of male belonging and dominion. This
expresses in emotional, physical, economic empowerment, blackmail or threaten
for penetration or any sexual contact to women, whoever girl, teenager or
adult, including cultural practices like genital mutilation, forced marriages,
virginity overvaloration, among others.
Many times, culture itself justifies and legates the feeling of female
body and sexuality’s conquer to their men, teaching to women for accepting
themselves as male property, masking a pathological relationship of dominion
and dependance that is passed from generation to generation.
Special attention must be given to marriage
duty, the bad marriage principle that forces the wife to satisfy her
husband’s sexual desire just because she is his wife, ignorating her desire as
a woman. As it is covered under marriage or convivence veil, vilence gets
impune and vigent as high as sometimes it is undetectable by the same women who
experience it, assuming it is part of the normal because of the fact they are women.
Let’s see a daily example:
The mother as the only responsible of house chores.
The father as the only responsible for family and with authority for
taking decisions.
It is observed here that the violence is “justified and normal.”
The most common types of GBV are childhood’s sexual abuse, domestic
violence and rape.
Is GBV a public health problem?
Yes, it is. As it has a negative impact on women’s integral health, GBV
repercutes on health of society. That’s why watching has to be held because it
is not an isolated trend but it has origing and a negative impact around the
world.
In that sense, it is a conclusion that woman’s health has to be
contemplated by public policies proned to gender equity, that guarantees
welfare and justice for their members, throughout elimination of carrying
factors to woman’s victimization and violence because of her gender.
We, the men speak up
Many times, we, the males show violence trending to solve conflicts.
Then, a question jumps automatically up: is violence necessary to solve
conflicts?
There are who unavoidabily connect conflict to violence and believe that
preventing the violence is necessary to prevent the conflict.
But in human reasonability, we realize that independently of male or
female gender, we have different interests, aspirations, goals and values as
individuals, and conflict is hard to avoid while we interact. But depend on ourselves to learn solving them
without violence by the mutual agreement that satisfies both parties through
consensus and reason.
Unfortunately many times, the violent act made by the man is considered
as normal and it is justified by rebelion and non-recognizement of women. Here
we have cotidaneus arguments those mask GBV: “She provocates me”, “I’m the boss
at home”, “She doesn’t respect on me.”
As part of this vicious circle, the male kids growing under a violent
environment follow building up their manhood based on superiority granted by
the machoman thinking, and they will
show out in the future turning in
agressors when exercising their supossed authority, it gets threatened or
questioned by women.
Within the main fears of men who were growth and masculinized under a
violent environment, we have the fear of no reaching the true men standards and being humiliated or ashamed as a feminine
husband, going over their empowerment and having to submit the woman as their
manhood proof.
In this context, men learn since they are kids, and continously their
manhood is tested by society , having to show it even violating women and the weakest and the rest.
What can I do as a man?
We have to begin analyzing ourselves frantically about who we are as
men, less competitive before the female.
This is not going to be really easy because we have growth as machomen, so this process will not
happen immediately. But let’s exercise the free choosing stopping violence at
home, being perseverant in our decision if we propose to change for real and
for family welfare.
Anyway, we have to minimize our violent acts. Let’s remember there is
not big or small violence – all types are acts to be discarded. Have in mind
that nothing justifies our violence, so we are the only responsible of our
violent acts. Learn to self-satisfize our needs not expecting the women do them
on behalf of us because ooa superiority sense. This is key to prevent many
conflicts leading to violent facts.
Learn to self-detect the syntoms when we are just ready to explode for
avoiding the trigger to violence. We have to learn the skill to realize that in
those conditions we can not follow a discussion because we will not able to
hear and what we think or feel wil be the only important, putting on risk
everything to end as a violent act. So it is better to have a time-out and step
outside. Of course, stepping outside will cos tus because we will feel we are
weakand we are losing in a fight, but if we are decided to change, we have to
decide between continuing to argue and probably end to a violent act, or
stepping us outside to get calm and agree a consensus with the couple in other
moment, satysfying both.
Time-out or stepping outside is a time to be used mainly to slow down
and do activities those support this objective. A good choice is walking
outdoors and alone for thinking clear. Never look for friends who support you
as a machoman, or alcohol ‘to solve’ the problem.
For majority of men, the fact of negotiating and conciliating is difficult and eben more when we have benn
educated to impose us or to negotiate from a perspective of top power because
we are male. This does not mean it is impossible but it demands a greater
commitment to our couple and other family members.
Once we get steady, it is a grateful feeling we have got it and we will
on our way to mutual respect and our recognizement as true men.
As we are able to unwear that shield we are wearing sice we were child
as protection mechanism , and that implies to be unsensitive before the rest
and ourselves, we could compare what we
get by affective links to family is superior to we lose by dominion , making
the change sustainable.
As a closure, we can say we are going to be better men as much as we
start to recuperate our sensitive and
loving capability that culture and ssociety have erased.
Let’s make the change!
(Marco Paulini is a
Sullana,Peru-based obsthetrician. Send your questions to his Twitter account,
@MarcoPaulini)
© 2014 asociación Civil Factor Tierra
(@factortierra on Twitter)
© 2014, 2016 by Marco Paulini. All
Rights Reserved.
She saw thirteen times
the Spring to flourish. Already at mid-morning, sshe had gotten away the
village too much, than her spirit felt to be free as when her mother took her
hand to guide her way just some years ago.
Foolishly, as
theatrical motion scenes, almost programmed thoughs passed through her head:
What would be thinking about her at his husband Juan's house? Surely that as at
her parents' hhouse "she was very pampered", she as not been
accostumed to her new family. In the other hand, wwhat her father could think
about of her running-away offense as the much he earned to negotiate with Juan
for the town's people not to speak and realize her daughter was not virgin
anymore. 
